I’m almost back to my good health I think with a bit more sleeping and drinking tons of fluids i should back in tip top shape to conquer the world wooo!!! I mean who knew that a 99 cent cheeseburger from MCd’s could destroy a cold like no one’s business. lol btw ( i love love love love love love those small cheese burgers!)

:D Its nice to actually move around again and not have that annoying sinus pressure in my head. I really hate that feeling it annoys the hell out of me. I am so happy to be done working two jobs, that was really taking a toll on me, I wasn’t getting much of sleep and the amount of traveling I was doing on the train wasn’t worth the money. I’m just glad that is done and over with whew!!!
I was bit upset with myself this sunday, I had started a small self journey but due to my stupid sickness I had to put it on hold blehhhhhh.. In anycase my partner Dave, has been attending a Khanaqah for the past several months he has always invited me to go along with his sister (side note : if you want to know more about Sufism I suggest you visit his blog My Caravan of dreams its located on my blogroll)
Last week I thought it would be a great time for me to visit and I must say It truly was; I can only speak for myself because everyone life is different but, I was very much moved as though I felt i was rebuilt. For some reason I had all this pent up anxiety and even possibly a panic attack I had wept so much that I felt I was at complete despair as though I was alone, for some reason though the more I kept trying to label my emotions, my reasons, trying to find logic as to why … the why… the more I tried to search for the why the harder it was for me to calm myself because in the end there was really no such thing as “why” it was just “is” . Once I was able to just let go I felt immensely relieved and I just had this calming feeling of happiness. I was very much looking forward to visiting again this Sunday but I was just way too weak and sick, however I am definitely going this next Sunday
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